Apostrophe Jones

I am a lineman for the county , and I drive the main road .

What Ever Happened to…?

 Goober Pyle       He got a job with Wally’s Service  Station in Mayberry when his cousin Gomer left to join the Marines.  When Wally’s closed a few years later,Goober decided to see the world and traveled far and wide ,taking odd jobs along the way .While selling insurance in London,one of his customers, a Miss Moneypenney,  recognized a sophistication and deadly ruthlessness in Goober and recommended him to her employer,the British Secret Service . Agent  Pyle… Goober Pyle remains to this day one of the most effective and lethal weapons in their arsenal,all the while wearing his signature beanie.                   

Eb Dawson      Eb worked as  a handyman on the Douglas farm near Hooterville, Arkansas in the mid-sixties till the CBS foreclosure on all its rural properties in 1971.The Douglases moved back to New York.Their daughter, Arianna, eventually married a politician and later got involved in the Internet. Eb moved into town,doing odd jobs.Later, while selling insurance in Pixley, grocer Sam Drucker took Eb to a meeting outside of town of the Secret Society. Eb liked what he saw and he and his friend Arnold Ziffel joined the group. After many years in the Society , Eb rose (or descended) to the position of Grand Kleagle of the Klan.                  

Jethro Bodine      After years of  living with his relatives , the Clampetts , Jethro decided to strike out on his own . Attempting  to sell insurance door-to door in Beverly Hills , he noticed that no one would open the door  and some would call the police . With a loan from his Uncle Jed , and some vittles from Granny in his bindle , he set out to become an ” inventionizer “. Jethro believed that his “giant brain” suited him to work in the computer field . He spent years on his only major project  : The Bodine Triple Naught Seven Supercomputer . This was to be the world’s first computer powered by firewood . After much ciphering and crunchin’ of  numbers , Dr. Bodine , as he now called himself , abandoned the project. The Doctor was last seen working as a Wayne Newton impersonator in El Segundo.                  

David Nelson       For 14 years , he played the part of David Nelson on The  Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet . He had to win the part originally over such actors as Robert DeNiro , Sean Connery and Sidney Poitier . His work was so convincing that the public came to believe he was really David Nelson . Mr. Nelson said later that working with such actors as Skip Young  , Lyle Talbot  and Don DeFore challenged him and made him the artist he is today. When the show was foolishly cancelled in 1966 , Nelson decided to sell insurance , concentrating his efforts on selling to diners and malt shops . Forming an agency with Jim Anderson and Ward Cleaver , Mr. Nelson provides the residents of Mayfield with the coverage they need . Just don’t think about filing a claim .                                                                                              

Bub O’ Casey        He was known on TV for 5  years as Uncle Bub , housekeeper for his nephew Steve Douglas and his Three Sons in Bryant Park , Illinois . Before that , however , he was a landlord in N.Y. City . He and his young trophy wife , Ethel ,  sold  their building in 1957 . Bub split the money with Ethel , and then split up with Ethel  , as she had become a wacky dame since spending so much time with one of their red headed tenants . Bub then sold insurance in the city , with clients ranging from bars to pubs to taverns .In 1960 ,  when Steve called , Bub gave up the business  and went to help him out . Bub put up with the family for as long as he could , wearing out five or six flasks in the meantime . Bub stayed  behind when the family moved to California , since he did not want to leave his new young girlfriend , Morgan Fairchild . Bub and Morgan married and had a son who later became famous as TV conman the Video Professor .                  

Danny Partridge      He was the red headed sarcastic , semi-funny kid on The Partridge Family TV show  . I  don’t admit to ever seeing this show , but this what I heard  : Danny was the only possible reason to watch this thing . When the show was mercifully cancelled , Danny took it hard ,  wandering the streets and becoming a major delinquent . His behavior was reprehensible ,indefensible and just not sensible . Selling insurance soon followed , but he wanted to be back in show business , dammit .  He decided to put his snide , kind of nasty humor to work .  Before  long , Danny was working as a stand-up comic …under the name of Kathy Griffin .                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      


Larry Mondello

 Larry Mondello       Friend of Beaver Cleaver’s, he appeared in 69 episodes of Leave it to Beaver from the ages of 9 to 14. His mother, Mrs. Mondello, who looked to be about 75,appeared occasionally.Larry left the show in 1963, on account of his family moving to Philadelphia  and he was promised the trick or treating was better.Then he grew up.While selling insurance ,Larry fell in with evil companions and joined the mob.During his career as a regional manager with the Gambino Family, Larry was known as the Chicken Man due to his habit of dining at KFC after a successful heist.Falling into disfavor with his capo one Valentine’s Day in 1977,they blew up the Chicken Man in Philly that night.They blew up his house,too. You see what those racket boys  can do?                                                                                                                                                         

One Response to “What Ever Happened to…?”

  1. Bub O'Casey says:

    Just wanted to update the folks on Morgan and I. Morg is about to turn” 60″ ,she says.I’ll be 123 this year and feel like a hundred dollars . Bub,Jr. is still working his scam and I help out by going down to his office and not answering the phone .My great-nephew Chip brought his dog Tramp 12 to stay with us and we’re enjoying that big fella .

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