The Great and Powerful Wise Pharoah Obama has proclaimed that we do not torture.
Apparently he has never had to sit through one of his speeches.
The US has a simple way to get the truth from enemy combatants.
An hour of listening to Herman’s Hermits or L’il Bow Wow will make the most hardened jihadist spill his guts.
If that fails, it’s time to unleash the ultimate weapon: a continuous loop of Wayne Newton singing “Waitin’ on the Robert E. Lee”, followed by “Danke Schoen” should get the needed results, with only a little permanent damage.