Apostrophe Jones

I am a lineman for the county , and I drive the main road .

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Jerry M.

Hi . Jerry here . Formerly the Beav and/ or Rapmaster J-Math . Back at my crib ,while discussing my musical career with my wife , Mrs. Mathers , we decided that I needed a new direction and also some cookies and maybe a pint of ice cream on account of I like it . Rap was not working for the mooncrickets in my crew . I know I can get down with the other fellows , but no one was digging my jive . Maybe it was my look . I went down to the firehouse to get advice from Gus . Gus is the only 126 year old fire chief in the county and he knows a heap o’ stuff on account of he’s old . He suggested maybe a Rudy Vallee type Vo- dee- oh- doh sound for me . I told him an idea I had : the Wayne Newton / Pat Boone swinger type of music . All the hip people dig Wayne and Pat . Gus told me I should go on American Idol , but I really have to ” bring it “. That’s it ! I know they like sort of younger people , but I am a youthful 61 . Beaver Cleaver out .©

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Rapmaster Icy Cold J-Math

What is happening , fellows ? J-Math is in his house . You know me  ,the Beav . Well , I just returned from a rapping session on the other side of town , where Eddie Haskell told me if I was going there ” So long , Squirt ” . My wife Judy and I decided that if I was to be a rapmaster and make platters that matter , stacks of wax with tracks to the max , and rap songs for the teeming throngs , that I needed to get out and obtain some street credits . Some of the other fellows at the rapping session did not seem receptive to my jive . I did two of my best compositions ,”Be a Good Neighbor ” and ” I Like Apricots “. They seemed to be confused about who I was ,and some were calling me ” Mother ” or “Pasty Cracker ” . I said to them ” Gentlemen , Miss Landers used to call me worse than that “. I’m thinking about changing to country music , though . Tennessee Jerry Mathers ? ©

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Rapmaster Icy Cold J-Math

What is up , fellows ? You may know me as The Beav from that TV show years ago . I sold insurance in Mayfield for years after that , on account of that’s what my TV pop did . My wife , Mrs . Judy Hensler Mathers and I would sometimes talk to each other in rhyme (all the time). And then it hit me …we were rapping (not just yapping). Mr. Jones asked me to write occasionally about my experiences in the rap culture (and not about being a mulcher). I told him that I would be down with that .  People have said to me , Jerry , you can’t be a rapper ,you don’t have soul .(Not my goal). I tell them , yes I do (Scooby – Doo). I have a Johnny Mathis record that I listen to often , so I know soul . (I’m not on parole). ©

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