Apostrophe Jones

I am a lineman for the county , and I drive the main road .

Archive for the 'Whatever Became of …?' Category

Whatever Became of …?

March, 2013.

Whatever became of the cast of CNN?

Soledad O’Brien

The “Prison Lady”, famous for grilling her guests on her short-lived morning program, got a job working  at an actual grill, becoming the assistant cook at the Sonic in Newark. Order up, Soley!

Piers Morgan

This fellow has returned to his native home in the Ozarks, resuming  his previous career in moonshining.  Buford Ledbetter( his real name) managed to pull off a convincing British accent for years enabling him to fool “them TV folks into givin’ hisself a right cushy job.”

Wolf  Blitzer

Blitz retired after the election and can be seen in Central Park with his acquaintance Keith Olbermann. Wolf loves to feed bits of bread to the squirrels, while Keith tries to wrest the bread back from them. Seldom catching the little guys, Olby will shout at them, pronouncing them “The Worst Squirrels in the World!”

Anderson Cooper

 Losing all his money on Facebook stock, Andy got a job with a real network. He is an assistant on The O’Reilly Factor, in charge of writing complimentary letters to The Factor and signing each with a different name and town.©

 

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Whatever Became Of …?

 March, 2013.

 Whatever became of the night time cast of MSNBC?

Al Sharpton and Ed Schultz

When NBC decided to shut it down, for obvious reasons, Al Sharpton bought it for a dollar and his promise to never mention that he was ever employed by NBC.The MSNBC building was converted into “Al and Ed’s Fashion Mart”, ( For the coolest threads, head to Al and Ed’s) where the latest in XXL pinstriped suits are featured and yes, there’s a track suit section in the corner.

Chris Matthews and Lawrence O’Donnell

Chris disappeared  November 7th, 2012 and was only spotted recently in Philadelphia. A scraggly bearded, long-haired Matthews was found hanging around Geno’s Steaks on 9th St., waving his arms and ranting about ” racists! “. Rumor is he is being paid by Pat’s down the street to scare away the customers. Crazy Larry is Chris’ assistant, keeping his flask full.

Rachel Maddow

This little lady decided to pursue her lifelong dream and is now one of the models on the new “Price is Right” game show, hosted by the former VP, now calling himself ” Joe Bidenopoulous”. After three weeks of hosting, Joe is still not sure of the format, beginning every sentence with,” Our survey says …”. Often Joe will ring in with answers himself, always in the form of a question.©

 

 

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